As educators and parents, one of the most impactful themes we can embrace is this: It starts with us. If we want our students to grow in self-awareness, self-management, and emotional health, we must first reflect on our practices. SEL (social-emotional learning) isn’t something we teach in isolation — we model every day.
Tyler Groves’ influential book, Growing With One Another: Social & Emotional Learning in Christian Perspective, reminds us of a hard but honest truth: We can’t take students or our children where we aren’t going ourselves.
Modeling What Matters
Let’s be honest for a moment — Christian schools are not perfect. No school is. We are broken people. We are surrounded by God’s grace, trying to do our best, but sometimes we fall short. And that’s okay. Full transparency and vulnerability in front of our students can be one of the most powerful ways to model self-awareness and self-management.
Ask yourself this: How are you personally modeling Generosity, self-awareness, or other SEL skills? It’s easy to say, “I want my students to be kind, patient, and resilient.” But are they seeing those traits lived out in you?
Self-Care Is Key
One area where this reality hits hard is self-care. If our students see us stressed, overwhelmed, and burned out, they learn from that, too. They pick up on our behaviors more than our words. Self-awareness begins when we acknowledge, I’m not okay right now, and then take steps to manage our emotions and stress in healthy, God-honoring ways.
Remember, self-care isn’t selfish — it’s necessary. Taking care of yourself allows you to better care for others. When we model balance, rest, and resilience, our students learn what it looks like to prioritize emotional and spiritual health.
Pratical Ways to Practice Biblical SEL as Educators
Here are a few practical tips for leading by example:
Practice daily check-ins. Take a moment to ask, How am I feeling today? What’s causing me stress, and how can I release it?
Model self-regulation. If you feel your frustration rising, take a breath. Let your students see you pause, pray, or choose your words thoughtfully.
Share your journey. You don’t have to be perfect. Be honest with your students about the times you struggle and how you’re working through it.
Practice gratitude. Generosity and joy start with thankfulness. Share what you’re grateful for, and encourage your students to do the same.
Set healthy boundaries: Say no to overworking yourself. Your students need you at your best, not your most exhausted.
It Starts With Us
If we want our students to believe in the value of SEL and Generosity, they need to see it in action. They need to see us practicing what we preach. Tyler Groves challenges us to live out these principles authentically, and it’s a challenge worth accepting.
Today, ask yourself: How am I practicing self-awareness and self-management? What steps can I take to lead my students by example?
When we prioritize our own growth, we create space for our students to thrive alongside us.
Because at the end of the day, it starts with us.
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